People naturally express love in the way they prefer to receive love or feel love. When you have love for another, like your significant other, your family, your neighbor, or brothers in Christ, how do you express love? Love is experienced as an emotional high with intense passion at its onset. This is a euphoric state where chemicals in our brain produce physical and emotional sensations throughout our body. Theories of love propose that there is an inevitable change over time from passionate love to compassionate or conventional love (Edwards, n.d.). When a man and a woman come together in a relationship, they are two complete individuals where in a union of a marriage become “one flesh” (Mark 10:6-9). As individual contributors in the marriage, they become each other’s compliment working together towards one goal. Our instinct and desire is to love and be loved, but sometimes that love doesn’t last in relationships. The idea and illusions of love fades when reality strikes. Healthy relationships between people can be accomplished when one can demonstrate understanding, acceptance, loyalty, commitment, communication, and forgiveness to the other person in a way they can understand.
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 powerful ways to express love and feel love; he calls them the 5 love languages. Love can be expressed through words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and physical touch. We have emotional love tanks and we express and feel loved in different languages.
Words of affirmation are kind verbal expressions of efforts and values that are acknowledged. It’s giving compliments and positive encouraging words.
Acts of service is an action where you freely help without expectations in return.
Giving of gifts is a visual symbol and it is a thoughtful gesture of love. It is not materialistic.
Quality time is giving undivided attention and spending time together in a meaningful activity.
Physical touch would be expressing affection in physical ways such as a hug, hand holding, or a hand on a shoulder for support.
What is your primary language of love? 1 Corinthians 13 helps us understand the depth of love we should have for one another. It’s a covenant love where you consciously work in your relationship with intention and this is what helps keep love alive in long term relationships. Take a moment at this time and reflect – Have I maintained love alive in my relationships with my family? Have I demonstrated the love of God in my relationships with others? Scripture‘s greatest commandment for us is love. Our perfect example of love is God because God is love – Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love 1 John 4:8 NRSV. The most ultimate act of love for humanity was the sacrifice that Jesus Christ did on the cross for our salvation. For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life. John 3:16 NRSV. God’s love for us is divine and unconditional – Fill your tank of love and share it.
References
Chapman, G. D. (1995). The five love languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. Chicago: Northfield Pub.
Edward, S. (n.d.). Love and the Brain. Harvard Medical School: Department of Neurobiology. Retrieved from http://neuro.hms.harvard.edu/harvard-mahoney-neuroscience-institute/brain-newsletter/and-brain-series/love-and-brain
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